I Hate Running

Dear Friends, Family and Fearless Readers:

I went for a run today.  It was my first run while in Ukraine.  Well, I’ve run here, but never with the explicit purpose of running.  I’ve run for trains, I’ve run during soccer games, and I’ve run to catch buses.  With all that running experience I decided it would be a good idea to sign up for a half marathon.  Before we go too far, I should admit that I hate running, and I think I always will hate running.  It is such a useless activity.

For a while I had been planning on buying some new running shoes.  I walk everywhere I go, but I hardly get any exercise outside of that.  This has become more difficult lately.  Throughout the winter I have had difficulty sleeping at night, and been generally tired all the time.  As a physiologist (and a doctor) I decided that the best way to solve this is to start exercising regularly.  Beach season is coming up, anyway.

I am actually excited for the half marathon.  I am hardly going to do actual training for it, but I’m hoping the fact that I bought running shoes that were far too expensive will motivate me to start running regularly.  I even got an overpriced ironic t-shirt that says “Running Sucks,” it’d be poor form to wear that randomly, so yet another incentive to run.

So, while I was running, I was reminded why I don’t run.  Those of us that are out of shape probably know that the three states of shape are awesome:  being in shape, being out of shape, and getting out of shape.  Getting in shape, on the other hand, is awful.  I ran two and a half miles and was far more tired than I’m comfortable admitting afterwards.  That’s embarrassing.  If I resigned myself to being out of shape, I wouldn’t have to face that fact.

But, running is a good thing.  It’s good for health, and it’s good for my vanity.  The entire time I was running I was a center of attention.  Not only from the neighborhood dogs barking their encouragements, but also from babushkas wondering why I wasn’t wearing a hat, and children wondering why that weird guy is running.

While I was out for the run, though, I learned an added benefit of running.  I ran down streets I have never been down before, and saw some things I hadn’t seen before in my town.  Maybe I can use running as a means of discovery.  I was planning on buying a bike for that; before I remembered that I am too cheap to spend money on a bike . . . they’re expensive.  Then again, I spent far too much on the running shoes, so my story is full of holes.

Luckily the half marathon is not until April 30.  I have some time to prepare myself.  The other benefit:  the half marathon is part of a wine festival.  So, if things are going too poorly by the end, I’ll be able to fortify my legs and make it through.  Let’s just hope my legs make it that far. 

Maybe by the end of summer I’ll be able to tell you about how excellent running is and how much fun I have doing it.  But I can’t do that now, and I don’t foresee ever being able to do that.  Let’s just hope that exercise will do its job; help promote healthy sleeping patterns, and get me (more) svelte (than I already am).

That’s all I know for now.

Be good,

Pete