On Eating McDonald's in Ukraine

Entering the promised land:  clean bathrooms, free wi-fi, here I come!

I have a confession to make:  I love McDonald’s in Ukraine.  Truly, “I’m lovin’ it!”; or as we say here:  “я це люблю”.  I’m not confessing that I love McDonald’s, I’m confessing that I’m not embarrassed by it.  I know, as a young Peace Corps Volunteer, I should not readily admit this; but, there you have it.  Forgive my candor, but sometimes it’s liberating to publicly acknowledge my guilty pleasures.[1]  So let me be very clear:  I love McDonald’s; and I love McDonald’s unrepentantly.

I probably go to McDonald’s more here, in Ukraine, than I ever did at home (if drive thru[2] coffee doesn’t count).  This seems to be the general consensus among most of the Peace Corps-eans with whom I am acquainted.  I’m not sure why, but it just seems so much more desirable when I’m far from home and captive to my own cooking.  In the absence of affordable restaurants with other types of cuisine (Thai, Asian in general, classic delicatessens, diners, seafood, and the list goes on and on and on . . .), McDonald’s fills a palpable void.  There are a few other aspects which are important to consider:

• Beef – I can eat beef at McDonald’s in Ukraine!  Beef is frightfully absent from my diet.  As a red-blooded American male this is hard to countenance.  Here in Ukraine I regularly eat sausage, pork and chicken.  Beef is the rarity.  As such, McDonald’s is an easy way of adding beef to my diet (without having to cook it myself).

A chicken roll and a cheeseburger.  There’s some beef under that bun!

• Coffee – For the majority of my time in Ukraine I have been blessed with substantial amounts of tremendous coffee, mostly from Updike’s Newtowne, in North Kingstown.  Those days have long since passed; gone gently into that good night.  As my days are getting fewer I have not asked that any more be sent, and I have been surviving on instant Jacobs for the past 3 months.  It is nice, when away from my apartment to get a decent cup of coffee, and not have to pay too much for it.  McDonald’s has decent coffee at a good price.
• Professionalism – Perhaps this quality, professionalism, is one that is most sorely lacking in any field in which customer interaction is a necessity.  I could go into specifics on that prior statement, but would prefer not to.  I have never had a bad experience at a McDonald’s in Ukraine.  At virtually every place I frequent, here, I have had something infuriating happen.  This has never been the case at McDonald’s.  Certain things exist here that make this happen:
• Friendly Staff – Staff smile at customers here.  If I don’t have exactly 73 kopeks, that’s OK, they’ll be able to make change.  If I do have that 73 kopeks, they thank me for giving them exact change.
• Expedience – If my meal takes longer to put together than expected, the cashier will apologize, and tell me that is the case.  In fact, once when ordering breakfast my meal took so much longer to put together than acceptable, that they gave me a card for a free ice cream cone or small soda.  Expedience and efficiency are not things that Ukraine is known for, and to get to experience them, even in small doses is a welcome reprieve.
• Order – Lines exist at McDonald’s in Ukraine.  This is perhaps the only establishment in Ukraine that can say this.  It is nice to arrive at an establishment and not have to keep my elbows high and box out every person that comes in after me.  Every now and then someone will come in and sneak to the front, but it’s the exception, and not the rule; that’s a nice thing.
• Cleanliness – The premises AND bathrooms are always clean.  If I am sitting at my table longer than expected, and my meal is finished, my tray is even taken for me.  I feel like I could eat off the floor of most of these restaurants here.
• Quality – Frequently, when ordering a meal here, we’re not quite sure what we’ll end up with.  At McDonald’s, for better or worse, that is not the case.  I always know exactly what I’ll end up with, and it’s always exactly as I ordered it.  Granted, I don’t make special orders, it’s still nice to experience consistency with quality.

The chicken roll, my “healthy” alternative.  It’s a tasty treat. 

I am a stalwart defender of McDonald’s . . . and globalization in general.  I refuse to humor self-indulgent westerners that claim that McDonald’s kills culture.  In two words:  It doesn’t.  Culture isn’t something McDonald’s can kill or nurture, and showing a successful business model is not doing developing countries a disservice.  In fact, some of the best practices are beginning to be used by up-and-coming restaurants that are homegrown.  Chelentano Pizzeria would be indicative of this.  Regardless of this fact, culture is something that people have a responsibility to maintain and preserve on their own.  To put is simply:  I don’t expect any Ukrainians to force me to maintain my American traditions, and I’m sure no Ukrainians expect Americans to help them uphold their traditions, especially not an American restaurant.  

Living one hour and twenty minutes from the closest McDonald’s, my location is one of envy for many fellow volunteers.  But, just as I do not apologize for the privilege of being American, I don’t apologize for having such ready access to that chapel of capitalism.  Just the sight of the golden arches can brighten my day, even if I won’t be dining their.  It’s true!  Also they have barbeque sauce.

And that’s all I have to say about that!

Be good,

Pete

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[1] While we're at it, you should know that I also love LFO.

[2]  I hate this spelling of the word through, but am using it as the variant preferred by McDonald’s.